it must have been love....

BuT iTs NoT oVeR nOw!!there is something happening to me. something i have not felt in last one year. and its not that im worried about it, but somewhere i m feeling uneasy. its simple, i m not behaving as i had expected myself to.. well, i still remem the last time he left me i felt awful and was all the time felt like running to him. and this time, i m so composed. i m wondering what can be the reason exactly. is it that im very busy? hmm... in that case is it that if i m busy n busier in life i wud be eroded of all the insanity i have ..i feel for him? somewhere i have started believing that may be i used to create such situations of because i like to be in that state and this whole idea of working was disbanned by me coz i knew this is the real me! the real me, who once get a peice of work and can spend the whole day and nite on thinking abt it, and reading and working!?!?! well, i dont think i wanna be that real me! i wanna run to him to escape this part of me.. i wanna my insanity back.
in last four days that he has gone .. i must have spent not more than four hours to think about him. i miss him surly. but not the way i used to .. i dont wana grow out of my insanity so soon. infact i found myself having guilt prangs as he called me last evening and told me that he left his mobile in bernard's car and that he went all the way to the market two km away to get a phone card so that he can call me and tell me.. and that he sounded upset coz he cant chat with me or talk to me.. and all i was surrounded by guilt.. for this time, its him who feels and misses me more than i am doing. he is being so much thoughtful and somewhere i seems to be turning cold.
i seem more moved with things happening around. the media blufing ppl, the politicians show casing their hypocratic face, the govt ppl torturing and annoying the public and more about the international polictics which is going worse day by day! i mean, these things are so much in my mind that somewhere the heart that i lost to him, seems to stop beating and lost its romanticism! i dont like it.. i wanna miss him like crazy the way i love him crazily!