it must have been love....

BuT iTs NoT oVeR nOw!!there is something happening to me. something i have not felt in last one year. and its not that im worried about it, but somewhere i m feeling uneasy. its simple, i m not behaving as i had expected myself to.. well, i still remem the last time he left me i felt awful and was all the time felt like running to him. and this time, i m so composed. i m wondering what can be the reason exactly. is it that im very busy? hmm... in that case is it that if i m busy n busier in life i wud be eroded of all the insanity i have ..i feel for him? somewhere i have started believing that may be i used to create such situations of because i like to be in that state and this whole idea of working was disbanned by me coz i knew this is the real me! the real me, who once get a peice of work and can spend the whole day and nite on thinking abt it, and reading and working!?!?! well, i dont think i wanna be that real me! i wanna run to him to escape this part of me.. i wanna my insanity back.
in last four days that he has gone .. i must have spent not more than four hours to think about him. i miss him surly. but not the way i used to .. i dont wana grow out of my insanity so soon. infact i found myself having guilt prangs as he called me last evening and told me that he left his mobile in bernard's car and that he went all the way to the market two km away to get a phone card so that he can call me and tell me.. and that he sounded upset coz he cant chat with me or talk to me.. and all i was surrounded by guilt.. for this time, its him who feels and misses me more than i am doing. he is being so much thoughtful and somewhere i seems to be turning cold.
i seem more moved with things happening around. the media blufing ppl, the politicians show casing their hypocratic face, the govt ppl torturing and annoying the public and more about the international polictics which is going worse day by day! i mean, these things are so much in my mind that somewhere the heart that i lost to him, seems to stop beating and lost its romanticism! i dont like it.. i wanna miss him like crazy the way i love him crazily!

heaven is a place on earth

how are we going to save a place that is beautiful? in the name of development i saw concrete jungle being created. is our vision so cold and stiffened as these concretes! pune- one of the places i loved to stay, visit anytime and especially during monsoon, when the clouds gathered around the singardh hill and greeenery all around. however this time pune was so disappointing. it was full of building.. city expanding without any explanation! where was that drizzling, the easy sight to the hills and plateau surronding place which used to make it a heveanly sight! anyways. thankfully lonavla is still saved. yes, development has happened in a constructive way. where there used to be a narrow path to the hills, good roads have been made and fortunately not tampering with the natural beauty of the place. Thankfully human being still cannot interfere with the clouds and fog covering the whole of the top of the hill..and its as if a walk in the clouds.. which lingers in you even after days of returning back to earth-plains.. truly refreshing. the surprise factor was the phalghar patch on the way to bby before the begining of suburb og the city. its still again far from all the cities that surround it. just not the a valley of hills but valley among the crowded cities surrounding it. I wish people could actually understand the true meaning of the phrase "heaven is a place on earth". why cant they let the earth as it was.. as it wants to be!